I need these.

(via w3irdgirl101)

cracked:

If you wanna get into being a magic doctor, that’s your co-star.
6 Tricks I Learned as a Faith Healer (for Scamming You)

#4. Faith Healing Involves More Chicken Guts Than You’d Think
We did something called psychic surgery. We’d have someone lay on a table, and beneath the table would be a bowl of chicken gizzards and livers mixed with blood. We’d lift the person’s shirt up and act as if we were going to take out a tumor or an infected gall bladder or like, a possessed kidney or something. We’d pretend to cut the stomach open, putting a hand in front of our fingers to hide it, then pull out the gizzards and the liver, calling them “cancer” or “Yendik, the Kidney Demon.” Applause and donations would follow. I wouldn’t perform this sort of act until after the first year of faith healing. By then, I knew we were phonies, so it wasn’t a big surprise when I learned that the surgery act was basically performance art. My pastor told me that an act like this bolstered the congregant’s faith and “portrayed a deeper reality,” which is a line I plan to use if the IRS ever audits my income tax returns.

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cracked:

If you wanna get into being a magic doctor, that’s your co-star.

6 Tricks I Learned as a Faith Healer (for Scamming You)

#4. Faith Healing Involves More Chicken Guts Than You’d Think

We did something called psychic surgery. We’d have someone lay on a table, and beneath the table would be a bowl of chicken gizzards and livers mixed with blood. We’d lift the person’s shirt up and act as if we were going to take out a tumor or an infected gall bladder or like, a possessed kidney or something. We’d pretend to cut the stomach open, putting a hand in front of our fingers to hide it, then pull out the gizzards and the liver, calling them “cancer” or “Yendik, the Kidney Demon.” Applause and donations would follow. I wouldn’t perform this sort of act until after the first year of faith healing. By then, I knew we were phonies, so it wasn’t a big surprise when I learned that the surgery act was basically performance art. My pastor told me that an act like this bolstered the congregant’s faith and “portrayed a deeper reality,” which is a line I plan to use if the IRS ever audits my income tax returns.

Read More

coldtrojan:

Everyone should watch this. Seriously.

girlgoesgrrr:

If Churches paid taxes …… 

girlgoesgrrr:

If Churches paid taxes …… 

(via indecisiveheathen)

ourtimeorg:

So can we stop arguing about it now?

ourtimeorg:

So can we stop arguing about it now?